The Long Shadow
by Typhoon Boom
Summary: Sometimes, it feels like you live in someone else's shadow. Sometimes, it's the only place that'll protect you. And sometimes, you find a way and a reason to come out from it.


**I hope I'm not too late with this. Been sitting in my Google docs for a while.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned any of this, the sequel would be out.**

XXXXX

It stings whenever you look at that side of the room. Every bout of praise spoken about him, it deepened that boundless pit at your core. It bit hard every time Mom reminded you that he'll be home soon.

And yet...

You _wanted_ him to.

You missed him.

You missed Big Brother Asriel.

You tried to hate him, you really did. For putting you in his inescapable shadow of his that seemed to stretch farther than you can run. For being loved and adored by everyone you know, with you referred to as 'the little brother'. For leaving you behind when you wasn't ready to see him go. But you just couldn't.

When you were orphaned, he took you into his home and treated you like family. When Mom and Dad separated, he was right there with you to make you smile, and buy you hot chocolate. In his shadow, you often found shelter enough to lean on and relax. And when he left, so did your support, and you fell right into loneliness. It's hard to tell whether the memories now were a blessing or a curse. You had endless amounts of fun as a kid, memories you never want to forget. But it all became grim reminders.

Mom would always tell you that you were special, and you always knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart. But as the years went by, that mother's declaration rang more and more hollow. She didn't say it when you were happy anymore. She said it in vain effort to cheer you up. Of course, you had to be happy in the first place. But there just wasn't anything to be happy about. None that you could find.

No achievements, no friends, no more games. Maybe you did have the powerful imagination to put together a fun and exciting world full of life and adventure, one you and Asriel played over and over in your youth, but what did it matter? You got no trophies for it. No one but you remembered it.

Today, Mom came in, offering breakfast. "Kris, breakfast is..." She popped her head in the door, and her words turned to ashes in her mouth at the sight of you sitting at the edge of your bed, staring off into space, as lively as a statue. You didn't even look over to her. She followed your line of sight. "Oh Honey..." These where one of those times where Mom had nothing to say. "Do you miss your brother?" Well, nothing that helped.

But still, you didn't feel honest with yourself in nodding, but that realization itself made silent terror wash over you, and you ultimately did nothing.

Concerned, Toriel stepped into the room and took her seat next to you, wrapping those warm arms of hers around you, burying you in warmth and love. You felt hot. Harder to breathe. "He'll be home soon, Kris."

You knew she meant well. You knew there was nothing she wouldn't do for you to make sure you were safe and happy. And you found a small degree of content in that thought, allowing yourself to lean into her and return the embrace. You reminded yourself that Mom and Dad didn't leave _you_, but their separation did leave you reeling.

So you asked her. Why does she hate Dad?

"U-um, well..." Toriel fumbled for words. "I don't hate him, Dear..." She'd always say that. Always deny your claim that she clearly didn't like Dad anymore. Why though? As far as you've seen, he was a lovable guy. Why must the trash can always smell like flowers?

You always thought about pushing further with your inquiries, but another thing she always does, "Remember when you and Asriel used to play that game of yours in the old classroom?" She'd always change the subject when it got serious.

Though, mention of the old classroom didn't send tremors through your body like it did before. But you had your fill of Mom not being able to make you feel better for now. When is breakfast?

Happy at the next change of subject, Toriel smiled and the two of you rose as one from your bed. "Breakfast is right downstairs."

Mom didn't always understand you, but at least she cared, right?

XXXXX

Breakfast would have been fine, had Mom not brought the subject of Asriel back up to break the awkward silence. "Have any plans for when Asriel returns from college?"

As you were reminded how successful your brother was, you felt your mood drop again, and you weren't hungry anymore. Off to college. He and Dad. Actually, all three Dreemurrs went to college, at some point. Will you ever be lucky enough to follow in their footsteps? You doubt it. "Kris..." Toriel spoke up again. "Are you alright?"

It took another moment to realize you didn't answer her question. You asked if you could go outside, and with a brief moment of pause, Mom said yes.

So you put your pancakes away, and geared up to go outside. It felt surreal, leaving the house with nothing or anything to do. You just felt it in yourself to ask. And now, on whatever adventure you've got in your head, you began walking. To where, it was anyone's guess.

And then, right after you greeted Catty as she watered her front lawn, she waved and told you to give Asriel her regards when he returns. It started getting on your nerves, but it was safe to assume you walked right into that one. Why does everyone have to remind you, though? Better yet, what were you going to do when Asriel visited? Would he even want to speak to you again? Was he even the same lovable person, capable of diffusing your bad mood, no matter how much you wanted to be angry?

Questions for about sixty seconds later.

Before you knew it, you stood right in front of the flower shop. And right inside, watering the patch of sunflowers, was dear old Dad. After wrapping you up in one of his crushing hugs, realizing it was you, he hurriedly set you down with a stream of apologies.

"What can I do for you on a Saturday, Kris?" You told him that Mom doesn't know what to do when you're upset, so you wanted to speak to him instead.

"Oh?" He asked, kneeling in front of you, offering a paw to place on your shoulder. "What's got you down in the dumps, Kris?"

You said it was Asriel.

Asgore tilted his head, off-put and confused. "Asriel?"

You nodded. You explained that you acknowledged that compared to Asriel, you didn't have much going for you, and even though he was taken aback, ready to fervently deny such a notion, Dad kept silent and listened to what you had to say. You told him how you'd feel every day, looking at all those trophies, then back to your soulless side of the room with nothing. You could tell the implication cut him to the core. You continued, saying that despite all that, you still loved Asriel, you never stopped loving him. You miss him and all you want is to have him back. But thinking about him hurts. It hurts a lot.

So Dad stopped tending to his flowers and offered to take you to QC's Diner to talk about it. You shook your head. You don't want to think about the past. Nodding, he then offered to take you out to the nearby lake. It was beautiful in the fall.

You nodded.

XXXXX

For hours it seemed, the two of you talked.

You spoke and he listened. It was probably the most he ever heard you speak in your entire life. Not really much reason to, since everyone you dared talk to only really remembered you as 'That weird Dreemurr kid' and 'Azzy's brother'.

But Dad doesn't just try to comfort you. He at least makes an effort to understand you. You tell him all about how you feel so insignificant whenever you think about Asriel, like a rock tossed in the shadow of a boulder. He had so many trophies on his side of the room. Everyone loved him and heaped praise onto him. And then he left for college, taking the crutch out from under you. But at the same time, _he was the crutch_. Even after the separation, he kept making you smile, as if it never happened.

"You know what always helps me when I'm feeling down?" He asked, once you were done with your rant. You looked up to him, lips curled into that curious frown of yours. What?

Asgore gave a cheerful smile. "A friend."

Immediately, your mind went straight to Susie. Your ideal friend. The only other one you know that felt what you felt. The only other one you opened up your innermost self to. How could you have already forgotten?

Giving your old man a quick hug and a thanks, you hurried back into town. "Bye, Kris!" Dad called after you. You hopped up to wave back at him before taking off with a purpose.

Asgore looked so happy, seeing you so happy.

XXXXX

You gave Mom a quick call to ask her where Susie lived. "Oh, over in that old trailer outside of town. Why? Do you have that project you still need to do?"

When asked, you countered with a question of your own. You asked if good ol' Mom could put a picnic basket together, you know, because Susie never really gets much to eat, and after a pregnant moment of silence, you could hear Toriel jump up and down in excitement at the request. "Oh, of course, Hon! Come back to the house, and I'll have a basket ready!"

It was a lot of moving around from there on, and no one ever saw you _running_ before, but you eventually found yourself on the outskirts of town, and lo and behold, a broken down old trailer rested in a clearing not far from the road.

You proceeded up the path and to the door. You raise your hand to knock, an-

"Hey!"

Out of the brush, a wild Susie appeared, armed with a big stick, shaped like an ax. "You better good fuckin' reason to-" The purple monster froze in her tracks, wooden ax reared back to swing. Struck with the realization that it was you, Susie's eyes popped out from her messy mop of hair, rife with twigs and leaves. "Kris?"

Knowing your cue, you proceeded over to her and offered her the entire basket. Setting her weapon down, the poorly dressed monster grabbed the basket handle and peered inside. Sandwiches wrapped neatly in plastic foil, containers full of fresh-cut fruit and veggies, cans of soda pop, water bottles, even some pie and a piece of cake. Susie looked about ready to cry. "Is... is all this for me?"

You don't think you've ever nodded harder in your entire life.

"I... thanks." When Susie began licking her lips, she'd continuously do so at regular intervals. She then looked back to you. "Hey uh... I was relaxing out in this other clearing. You wanna talk and help me eat all this?"

You beckoned for her to lead the way.

XXXXX

Finding a patch of rootless grass under a tree, the two of you laid down in the shade, picking out foodstuffs from the basket between you at random.

"Sounds like quite the guy." Susie surmised after you told her about your big brother. You told her you didn't know whether to love him or hate him. Everyone else did a wonderful job of the former.

"Pfft, everyone hates me. Got the yin yang thing going on. Maybe we're made for each other."

From the depths of your being, a grin appeared. Not with teeth like those, you jabbed.

Your entire body jolted as Susie dropped the back of her hand on your exposed belly with more than a little force. "You're reeeeal funny." Your grin didn't falter.

The two of you scooted your backs up against the tree you both were laying under, and you and Susie really began to talk.

Susie says chalk tastes pretty good, if you can get past the dusty texture. You go on about how many foods your mom can make from snails.

You bring up the project you two still gotta do. Susie remains adamant on doing it at the last minute.

You went on about most of the town referring to you as the Dreemurr Kid. She recants what everyone says behind her back when they think she's not around.

You tell her how lonely it feels to be left behind by everyone you cared about. Susie tells you how lonely it feels to be despised by everyone who knows her.

You tell her how great it is to have a friend that understands. She tells you how great it is to have a friend that cares. Hard for you both to admit.

Slouching against the tree trunk, Susie rested her hands behind her head. "So you know my story, Short Stuff. What's yours? Couldn't have possibly came from the Dreemurrs."

You told Susie you never really asked where you came from. All you really knew was that you had human parents, they're gone, and now you're Toriel and Asgore's son. Maybe you were some poor kid they scraped off the street. Maybe you were raised at an orphanage, and you were found. Maybe they knew your parents, and took you in after tragedy struck. Who knows? All you can do is not complain.

"That's rough, buddy." Violent Ax Susie wasn't really that good with sentiment, but then again, neither were you. And yet, you two still clicked. "At least you live in an actual house."

You huffed. At least her parents are together, you'd reason.

"At least you have three meals a day."

Can't really beat that. But speaking of, how'd she enjoy those sandwiches?

Susie patted her belly with a satisfied grin. "They definitely hit the spot. Thanks, Freak. I'll save the rest for my parents."

You nod. Good. But then you look over to her. It's getting pretty late, you reasoned. You asked if she'd be down for meeting up again tomorrow afternoon. After you're done with church, that is.

You faintly sensed that Susie had something to say about you going to church, but she bit her tongue and just answered the question. "Yeah, sure. Where to?"

You grinned. "QC's Diner."


End file.
